What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 02.07.2025 15:17
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
Meltzer's 2025 First-Round Mock Draft - NHL.com
And i lived it daily.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
I was 9 years of age.
Can you turn 150 pages into a 5 minute presentation before a meeting?
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
Review | In its third season, ‘The Gilded Age’ is as staid and sudsy as ever - The Washington Post
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
5 foods to add to your diet to prevent magnesium deficiency - Times of India
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
So, i spoilt her more .
What did i know ?
What do you think about Matt Gatz as an attorney general?
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
Especially a lifetime of it.
‘Echo Valley’ Is the Trashiest A-List Lifetime Movie You’ve Ever Seen - rollingstone.com
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
Apple’s leaked 45W MagSafe charger is first to support Qi2.2 - The Verge
Ive learnt so much.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
I did it because my mum asked me too!
Homophobia is clearly a harmful mental sickness. What can LGBT people do to cure it?
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
I never cut or harmed myself..
At what stage in your life did you realize, "No, I can't do this any more" and walk out? Why?
We were not on the streets..
I was very sick at this time too.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
What is the best sunscreen in India for oily sensitive skin?
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
As i do to all so called friends.?
Who is the greatest light welterweight boxer of all time?
Im dying but, im not bitter.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
I know ,a lot about trauma.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
But ive been too sick for many years..
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
But, we were locked up after school.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
All the time i was locked up.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
She found it foreign!.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
But it wasn’t much.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
I was seconnd youngest,
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
I could never make a relationship work though!
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
One cannot live in the past .
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
Im still living with it.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
I had hoped to write a book about this .
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
This is soul school!.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
We all went to grammer schools
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
My life is so biszare .
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
Put me off passion for life!!
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
He was dying to do it , i knew.
He knew the spot.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
I don,t even have a pension.
Was to survive, this bastard.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
I write beautiful poetry .
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
So whats the point in blame.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
When she asked me how she looked .
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
I waited trembling.
(And it was in our own minds.)
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
This is how, and why children get BPD.
I think the readers, may guess!
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
I said to her
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
I have no regrets .
I couldn’t, believe it.
She wouldn,t have been !
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
I will be 64.
It was going to be , some day.
My family never makes their pension either.
I was scared of men, in general
My mum and dad in the seventies!
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
Who then, do I blame.?
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
She was in good health!
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
He resisted the act ,that day.
Would this be the day?
She loved him until the end.
Comes on , in middle age.
She married twice! .
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
Why did i forgive my father ?
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
She died at 55 of colon cancer.